My dad was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. While the surgery is tricky and the survival rate low, he has a great attitude and is ready to fight. As a family member, it's hard to feel so helpless as he goes through this. Of course I am doing everything I can to let him know how much I love him, that I am here for him whatever he needs, but I wish I could better anticipate what it is that he does actually need. I know there are days he wants to talk about it, and days he doesn't.
Do any of you have stories about ways that friends or family members supported you -- tangibly or emotionally -- through your cancer treatment, or things that you later realized would have helped at the time, and wish someone had done for you?
Do any of you have stories about ways that friends or family members supported you -- tangibly or emotionally -- through your cancer treatment, or things that you later realized would have helped at the time, and wish someone had done for you?
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Austin
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Re: What do you wish others had done?
Wed, March 14, 2007 - 10:08 AMI had both colon and breast cancer in 2004. Luckily they were caught at stage one, so I only had surgery and radiation, no chemo. Still, I was pretty sick.
Best things: sat with me and listened went I ranted and raved. Put up with my flaky behavior when I was taking painkillers post-surgery.
Things I wish I'd asked for: more help cleaning the house and cooking. Hubby was on the road a lot, and I just kinda sank into the dark corners of the house and sulked. True, that's what I wanted to do most of the time but not always.
What I would have liked and didn't know it at the time: pampering, like a pedicure or my hair washed.
Best thing: hubby and co. packed me up and made sure I could go to Burning Man. Went two days after finishing radiation. Out of my mid, but the people and the desert, and seeing distant relatives who were there too did wonders for me. I didn't have to lift a finger, which was nice. -
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Re: What do you wish others had done?
Thu, March 15, 2007 - 5:56 PMi must say, i had cervical cancer, and i mostly just wished the reactions of some people didnt make me ashamed for having told them...it was mostly "cancer, what kind?" "cervical" "oh, thats transmitted by an std right?"... i just wish people knew more about the facts, before judging.
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Re: What do you wish others had done?
Thu, March 22, 2007 - 2:11 PMYou went to the playa too? I swear it was the best thing for me. I went after surgery and my first round of chemo, shaved my head the day of the temple burn. The sheer beauty and energy on the playa gave me the strength to make it thru the darkest of days.
I had ovarian cancer, and I absolutely believe that the love & support I received from everyone around me allowed me to survive and get rid of the cancer.
BTW - I agree with all of your list above, Anti M. -
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Re: What do you wish others had done?
Thu, March 22, 2007 - 7:30 PMOf course I went to the playa, but I had just finished treatment. I was stage one, so I didn't have to do chemo, just the brachytherapy. Makes me feel guilty even though I shouldn't. Completely out of it the entire time, but with lots of loving care.
So glad you're with us, HUGS for us ALL! We Rock! -
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Re: What do you wish others had done?
Sat, April 21, 2007 - 10:20 AMI had a stage 4 melanoma on my leg 28 years ago, requiring surgery and chemo, then I had uterine cancer 6 years ago, requiring a complete hysterectomy...
The most difficult thing for me was the sad-sack attitudes of everyone around me...I do understand how difficult it is for the people who love you, but both times, I was trying like hell to remain positive, and it was really challenging when everyone around me was crying all the time and continually pointing out all the negatives, like I didn't KNOW.
I don't want to sound unappreciative of the love and support I received -- I just want to put it out there that...anything you can do to help the person maintain a positive attitude is the best thing you can do.
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