I was diagnosed with my retinoblastoma when I was 15 months old. Due to the ordeal that I had to go through (eye enucleation, cryo, radiation, prosthetic left eye, radiation cataract in my surviving eye 15 years later), I've pretty much found that I'm more mature than my peers. I have a longer outlook on life, and have always had a more mature/advanced line of thinking than the other kids in my class or my general peers in school. Pretty much missed out on a "normal" childhood.
Biggest epiphany was finding out that I'm going to run into cancer again relatively soon (this was while doing a massive research paper on my cancer). With the way I was treated, and the rarity of my case, doubling my age results in the percentage of chance that I acquire a new cancer. Not looking forward to it, but I know I'm ready to accept it and fight it when it comes along.

Hello Anne,

I'm a cancer survivor as are both of my parents. What's kind of peculiar about my situation is that all of our cancers are completely different. I had Hodgkins, my Dad had lung cancer, my Mother had kidney cancer.


Cancer has changed my life and that of my family. My cancer isn't the only factor in that change though as you can imagine. I'm 13 years out. I feel like my priorities are much more clear than in the past. I tell my family that I love them everytime I hang up the phone or leave. I don't take my health for granted, and I find myself more comfortable with my eccentricities, not really caring what other people think. I'm more of an individual.

Not that there's ever a good time to find out that you have cancer, but I found out at a point in my life where it seemed like the bottom had completely fallen out. I spent the first month ignoring my diagnosis, never telling another soul...because there was no one to tell, and because I was in denial. I think I was so afraid and so alone and so afraid of going through it alone...accepting what was happening to me seemed certain to make me crumble. And then what? There wouldn't be anyone to help me pick up the pieces. I'd never truly had to go through anything alone before.

My epiphany came when I was walking with my dog one morning. He was a very rambunctious puppy, and weighing in at 85 pounds at 7 months I suddenly wondered what would happen to him. I didn't know anyone who would welcome him with open arms, and he was basically all I had at that time. So, I had a complete breakdown on the sidewalk thinking about his fate...and indirectly thinking about mine. I decided that I had no choice but to face the music. If you can't go around it or over it or under, maybe it's time to go through it...even it that means going through it alone :-)

Before I was diagnosed, I had no idea exactly how strong I was. As much as I tried to keep a tough exterior, deep down I always thought myself to be incredibly fragile and weak. I honestly didn't think I could have made it through something so difficult...alone or with the help of everyone I knew. But I did! And I'm so much more independent now, and I've realized that I've spent far too much of my life relying on the presence of others. I'm finally comfortable being alone and exploring the facets of all that is Dawn!

I never thought anything positive could come from something so unfortunate, but I'm so proud of the person that I've become as a result of the trials I've faced in the past few years. Granted, I have moments when I feel incredibly sorry for myself and get so sad about my situation...but 99% of the time, I'm the new me :-)